By The Glam Café’ 4-6-21
Whenever someone asks what type of coffee you like, the only correct answer is, "The one with the caffeine. I mean what other kind is there would be my response" But of course I know that different types of coffee—light, medium and dark roasts—attract different types of people. Everyone has their preference but your preference may have you missing out on the other great tasting roasts that are out there.
See, the roasting process takes the same coffee beans and, depending on how long you roast them, makes them taste completely different in the mug. Here's how that magic happens, plus how the taste and strength vary in light roast vs. medium roast vs. dark roast. I’m going to also share something with you about caffeine content that will likely blow your mind.
THE SECRET ART OF ROASTING AND CRACK(ING)
You might know nothing about roasting, and most people don’t even really care, all we care about is the liquid lifeline getting into our mugs 😂 but you can sound like a pro (and understand the difference between light and dark roast) if you can just remember the Three-Crack Rule. This won't make any sense now, but it will in a moment.
The roasting process helps coffee beans become what we think of as “coffee beans.” It's when you take raw or green coffee beans and expose them to heat. This process removes moisture from the bean and also changes the color, aroma and flavor of the green coffee beans into something you'd actually want to make a drink with.
Roasters are artists in my opinion. It takes skill—and trial and error—to determine exactly when to remove coffee beans in order to achieve the desired result in a cup of coffee.
As coffee beans slowly heat up, the flavors and acidity begin to change, and the color begins to brown as the sugars and amino acids in the beans react together. Eventually, typically somewhere around 350 degrees Fahrenheit, the beans go through the first crack. As the name implies, the beans expand to the point where you can hear them crack. You could remove the beans now and have light roast coffee beans (Sidenote this is where the bean has the most CAFFEINE, yeah I know shocking. You would think the darker the roast the more caffeine but nope 😱). Or you can keep heating them and allow the body and heavier flavors of your future coffee to build. When the temperature climbs to about 440 to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, the beans crack again. This second crack releases oils to the surface of the beans.
You don't want to roast coffee beans much beyond the second crack. Unless you want a mugful of charcoal-tasting liquid.
THE FIRST CRACK: LIGHT COLOR + HIGH ACID
If you remove coffee beans right after the first crack, you have light roast beans. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that these beans have a light brown color. When brewed, lighter roasts are, well, light. They have little or no oil and a thin body. Some might consider them watery. The flavor is delicate yet complex. It's often described as some mix of fruity, citrus, sweetness, and floral hints.
If you're interested in trying light roast coffee, look for Breakfast Blend, or Café’ Blend
THE SECOND CRACK: MEDIUM COLOR + BALANCED FLAVOR
Medium roast beans are removed from heat right before the second crack. The additional exposure to heat causes the beans to develop a toasty flavor and a brown color. Medium roast coffee has a little more heft than lighter roasts but usually minimal or no oil. It's less acidic than a light roast, but it maintains some acidity. Most people describe medium roast as “balanced.” It has a balanced flavor, aroma, and acidity. But don't let that fool you. When roasted correctly, medium roast's flavor isn't flat; instead, it's complex. In one sip of Colombia Supremo Coffee, you might notice notes of stone fruit. In the next, hints of caramel and roasted peanuts come through. And the finish? Delicious, smooth, give-me-more dark chocolate.
THE 2+ CRACK: DARKER COLOR + INCREASED BODY
Medium-dark roast coffee beans are removed right at or after the second crack. The coffee beans are a darker brown color and have some oil on the surface. They have less acidity but more body than lighter roasts. A cup of coffee made with medium-dark roast beans is spicy with notes of caramel and chocolate. You might notice some smokiness and a bittersweet tang.
If you're interested in trying medium-dark roast coffee, look for my Kenyan Coffee, and After-Dinner Roast.
THE THIRD CRACK: DARKEST COLOR + BOLD, BOLD, BOLD
Finally, the good stuff! Dark roast coffee beans are roasted until after the second crack. This takes finesse because if you roast too much longer, your coffee will taste like tar. As you can likely guess by now, the beans have a dark brown (or almost black) color. And since they've gone through both the first and second crack, they're also oily. Dark roast has the heaviest body and lowest acidity of coffee roasts. Dark roast coffee is rich and bold—you'll taste smokiness, some bitterness, toast, and chocolate.
If you're interested in trying dark roast coffee, look for names like Espresso Roast, Italian roast, Sumatra,
So as you can probably tell the longer the roasting period the more body or heaviness the coffee will have. No matter which roasting method used all of it tastes good to me, and I hope you will try something that is outside of your preference.
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If you see coffee as a modern addiction that developed because people's lives got so busy and demanding, think again.
The history of coffee as a popular beverage actually has its very roots in magic and mysticism.
The first place historically where people started drinking coffee was Ethiopia (there is an Ethiopian coffee ritual practiced up to this day).
In the 14th century, a Sufi sect (a sect of Islamic mysticists) brought coffee from Ethiopia to Yemen and began cultivating it.
The Sufis used coffee to stay awake during their late-night devotional practices.
In addition to that, they believed that coffee -when you infuse it with prayer and consumed with proper devotion- could lead to “qahwat al-Sufiyya,” a term broadly translated as “the enjoyment which the people of God feel in beholding the hidden mysteries and attaining the wonderful disclosures and the great revelations.”
From there, coffee spread to the rest of the Islamic world and even developed an angelic reputation: according to a legend, it was Archangel Gabriel himself who first served coffee to Muhammad.
When coffee was first introduced to Western Europe, it was met with suspicion and prejudice. We can't tell with certainty if it was because of the bitter taste, its connection with magic and mysticism, its aphrodisiac properties or the fact that it was so popular among Muslims, but catholics became very suspicious towards coffee, going so far as to term it "the bitter invention of Satan".
Pope Clement VIII, however, sampled coffee himself and instantly fell in love with it.
He declared that the drink of the devil was so delicious that instead of rejecting it, a baptism was in order so that they could cheat the devil and banish all the dark magic from coffee.
(So next time someone tells you that coffee is bad for you, you can tell them that it has been officially blessed by none other than the Pope himself :P )
1.Purchase your coffee from The Glam Cafe
2. Say a prayer or an affirmation into the coffee and then drink it.
3. Wanna attract money and abundance add some cinnamon (known to attract money) or some apple pie spice, or pumpkin pie spice. Both of these are made with herbs that are known to have properties for money drawing.
4. Lastly, while making your prayers, affirmations, and adding your money drawing spices stir your coffee clockwise to draw these things to you!
So you see your morning coffee does not have to be boring and can serve more than one purpose
3 Reasons You Should Make Your Own Coffee At Home
Are you always confused at the end of the month about where your money goes? I was. I remember being at work one day and looking at my account wondering why I didn’t have more money. I mean I made pretty decent money at the time and didn’t have very many bills. There literally should’ve been more money. I decided to sit down and go through every transaction for the month and I was absolutely SHOCKED! That month alone I had spent over 300 dollars at Starbuck’s. I worked in a fancy corporate building and we had an on campus Starbucks. It was just so convenient to walk over (sometimes 2 to 3 times a day) and get a latte or a snack. I literally wasted thousands of dollars yearly doing this. We are in a period of time now where we need to be smart with our money. Making your coffee at home is a great step to take.
I work from home now so getting in lines at drive thru’s and inside where you have to wear a mask is just not my thing. Every other day I get up and drive my car around because over the last year my car battery has died twice due to not being driven. While taking my car out for a walk (LOL) I am in awe at the lines to places like Dunkin Donuts and Starbuck’s and I can just imagine what the lines look like inside. You need very basic items to be able to make a great cup of coffee or tea at home. Skip the lines and germs and make you a great cup of coffee at home!
Let’s think about things for a minute. These big chain coffee places have thousands of locations and service millions of people, it’s not possible to have high quality beans used on the regular basis but they aren’t lowering their prices due to this fact. Plainly said you are paying for very low quality beans. As I said above you need very few things to make a good cup of coffee at home. The first thing you need is a high quality bean. The Glam Café’ www.theglamcafe.com is the perfect place to source beans from. I work directly with coffee bean farms to ensure the quality. Most of the time bigger is not better and these huge coffee chains sacrifice quality for quantity.
I could go on and on about the many reasons you should be making your coffee at home but I think these 3 are the foundational reasons. You could very well be your own Home Barista.
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Nothing will give you a better tasting cup of coffee at home like a French Press. If you are looking to pull the best out of your beans this is the coffee method to do it! Watch this video to see the process..
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Butter and coffee-- what's all the hype concerning this new phenomenon? You may assume mixing butter with your coffee falls someplace between entirely bizarre as well as absolutely interesting. In either case, the principle, otherwise referred to as Bulletproof Coffee, has actually crossed right into your path enough that you want to give it a go. If this has created a cult-like following similar to this, there needs to be some benefit behind it, right?
There are a zillion reasons individuals are making Bulletproof Coffee: they get on a ketogenic diet plan, they want mental clearness, it's important to their weight loss, or they just merely want a cozy, foamy reward in the early morning.
Healthy fats from butter launch high levels of caffeine slowly
When you mix your coffee with butter (and Mind Octane Oil if you're making Bulletproof Coffee), your body utilizes the caffeine differently.
Initially, the fats turn your coffee into a velvety cappuccino, which motivates you to sip as well as savor your coffee rather than knocking it back. It's a much more gratifying experience, yet it's also takes a little bit longer for you to complete a mug. That enables you to avoid the unexpected shock you obtain with black coffee.
Second, fats take some time to totally break down, which leads to a sluggish launch of caffeine. If you drink black coffee, or coffee with milk, all of the high levels of caffeine gets released practically immediately. That's when you obtain the caffeine jitters. The act of blending the coffee damages the fats into micelles, or little beads, which bind to caffeine molecules. From there, they're all broken down with each other at the pace of the slowest component of the particle-- in this instance, the fats.
There you have it-- a stable, long-term effect without the tweaky, buzzy feeling.
Let's nerd out on intestine bacteria momentarily. Microbiome science has developed that obese individuals have a high percentage of Firmicutes, a kind of germs, whereas naturally slim individuals have less Firmicutes and also more of the Bacteroidetes kind.
So, you pick up a probiotic which contains Bacteroidetes, right? Not exactly-- you can not obtain them in a pill. Rather, you tip your equilibrium by feeding the Bacteroidetes you have and encouraging them to duplicate. You achieve this when you consume a lot of foods which contain their preferred food resource: polyphenols.
You might have read that polyphenols are good since they're anti-oxidants, substances that protect your cells. Another factor to seek them out: polyphenols work as prebiotics (a food source) for Bacteroidetes. You obtain them in vibrantly colored veggies, however the mother load of all polyphenols in Western diets is coffee. Fun truth: delicious chocolate has a high polyphenol material, also.
When every little thing works effectively, your body regulates fat-burning and also storage in such a way that maximizes your power and also stores just sufficient, and not excessive, for future energy needs.
Your liver makes a healthy protein called fasting-induced adipose aspect (FIAF), that obstructs fat storage enzymes. Your digestive tract bacteria have their very own FIAF law in position, which can help you stay slim or make you hang onto weight, depending upon outdoors elements.
When you're consuming a high-fat, high-sugar diet regimen, gut germs reduce FIAF (their very own and yours from your liver) and cause your body to hang onto fat rather than shedding it. When intestine microorganisms do not have carbohydrates and/or sugar, they signify for various other fuel sources. Hungry germs make FIAF and also you melt fat.
When you use healthy and balanced fats with periodic fasting (as you would if you're having Bulletproof Coffee as breakfast) you're actively urging your own liver as well as your digestive tract germs to make more FIAF, and you burn fat for energy. When your fat source is in coffee, you get an increase of polyphenols that feed Bacteriodetes, which reproduce and also charge up your body's fat-burning systems.
A rodent research linked the coffee as well as fat combo with reduced body weight, less body fat, lower liver triglycerides, as well as decreased power consumption. [2] The mix tipped the balance to an extra beneficial ratio of Firmicutes to Bacteriodetes.
Milk or Creamer in coffee is most likely one of the most typical ways to take your coffee. As an aside, phony creamers aren't even on the same planet as milk. They have sugar, hydrogenated oils, and also thickeners that make you fat and also weak. If nothing else, stay far far far from non-dairy creamers!
Back to milk as well as half-and-half. Changing the milk in your coffee with butter is advantageous to your body in numerous ways. One consideration is the binding property of milk healthy proteins. When you put milk or cream right into your coffee, they bind the beneficial polyphenols and also your body takes in 3.4 times much less polyphenol.
Butter additionally includes butyric acid, which can help recover the digestive tract and directly lowers inflammation in the brain.
Commonly, you melt carbohydrates for gas. When you lack carbohydrates, your body obtains the signal to begin melting fat for energy. The liver generates ketones as a by-product of this fat metabolic process, which are a fantastic body and mind power source. You get involved in ketosis when you consume a great deal of healthy and balanced fats, low carbs, and also modest protein. When simply starting out, people have a tough time obtaining enough fat into their day.
Mixing butter in your coffee offers you the fat you need to enter into ketosis right out of the gate. Bulletproof Coffee on an empty stomach is the cheat code to light ketosis. You get all the psychological focus and decreased food cravings, even if you went overboard with carbs in the previous evening's dinner.
Grass-fed butter consists of the fat-soluble vitamins you need to support your immune system, bones, cardiovascular system, vision, as well as more. Not only that, yet having sufficient fats allows your body to take in vitamins A, D, E, as well as K from food. When you begin your day with fat-soluble vitamins and the healthy fats to absorb them, you're on your way to having an awesome day.
Are you over the moon excited about your early morning cup of coffee as it is? Wait until you have actually tried Bulletproof Coffee.
If you have a mixer, you can make yourself the luscious foamy latte that puts any kind of cafe or pricey cappuccino machine to shame, also the mix The Glam Cafe' fresh coffee and you can get creative with it. Include cinnamon, vanilla, chocolate, mint, offer it iced, whatever you can think up. As long as you're not adding an obscene amount of sugar, you will obtain all the benefits of an ordinary Bulletproof Coffee, but it will have your own personal touch.
Also worth a mention: hydrogenated fat does not cause heart disease. There's a ton of science that supports the notion that hydrogenated fat is a nutrient, and also other things contribute to cardiovascular disease. So go ahead. Enjoy some butter in your coffee today!
I know what you are probably thinking. “Not another coffee shop” but wait a minute. This is not just another coffee shop! This is coffee created for women by women, with the female focus in mind. So below are 10 reasons why this coffee shop is for a woman like you.
It's finally that time of year again and it draws two kinds of people. You are either a pumpkin spice maniac and as soon as the air gets a little crisp you pull out the pumpkin spice candles, coffees, teas, bath soaps, you get my drift. Or you are the other set of people who HATE anything that has anything to do with a freaking pumpkin LOL. Today's blog post is for the pumpkin lover and it's a recipe that I have used myself. It so easy to make and you will enjoy a consistently great cup of coffee on the daily basis.
Soooooo who else is absolutely tired of buying makeup brushes that lose their shape? You know what I am talking about you take them out of their brush guard and wash them and then the damn brush looks like you gave them a bad perm. The bristles are all stiff and dry and sticking out every which way but the right way, and even more upsetting.
I know for me when I was creating the Rose Gold Set I took all those things into consideration because I absolutely hated that when I was using other brands of brushes. By the way at one point I was only purchasing high end brushes (MAC, Tom Ford etc.) and this was still happening, so most expensive still does not guarantee best.
The bottom line is that you have to care for your brushes. I know some places have things like brush guards, and clean and shape solutions but when you own a lot of brushes who wants to go through that?? Here is the Solution- Aloe Vera Gel!!!
Yes the same aloe vera gel used for sunburns, natural hair etc. The aloe in this gel is conditioning for your brushes they will be super soft. The gel I use is Fruit of the Earth, and it works magnificently.
Instructions:
So I am sitting here sipping my Italian Roast coffee and thinking about St Patrick’s Day, and how it is an awesome holiday. One because I look great in the color green, and two it’s a holiday used as an excuse to well let’s say “indulge in alcoholic green beverages” more than you typically would, and though those are great reasons to celebrate, I knew it had to be more to this story about St Patrick, the leprechauns, and why the color green?
Who is St Patrick
He was the patron saint of Ireland but get this, his name wasn’t even Patrick and he wasn’t Irish (go figure). He was actually born in Britain in the late 300’s AD. He had several names actually Maewyn Succat, Patricius, Magonus, Succetus just to name a few but I think they settled on Patrick because well it’s just easier to pronounce!
His father Calpurnius was a deacon in the early Christian Church but lo and behold Patrick wasn’t a believer at the time. It took for him to be captured by some Irish pirates and enslaved for 6 years or more in order for him to give Christianity a go ( desperate times desperate measures I guess). While enslaved in Northern Ireland is where he learned the culture and language of the Irish. In his twenties Patrick claimed to have had a vision that he was supposed to bring Christianity to the Irish people who at that time were hugely paganistic.
Of course when anyone new comes to town trying to convert people to new and different ways than are established they are not welcomed with open arms so ole’ Patrick had to relocate to some islands off the coast where he eventually gained followers, baptized thousands, and formed many churches.
Why the Shamrock and the Color Green
Well the Green Color is not to stop people from pinching you but it goes back further to the Irish Rebellion. The Irish soldiers wore green as they fought the British whose trademark color was red. During the war in 1798 the soldiers sang a song titled “The wearing of the Green”. On St. Patrick’s Day people wore green in a show of solidarity. Now for this shamrock business Patrick supposedly used it to teach the Irish the concept of the Christian Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit). They already had triple deities and regarded the number three highly, so Patrick’s use of the shamrock may have helped him win a great deal of favor with the Irish.
What’s up with the Leprechaun?
The Leprechaun is not necessarily a St Patrick’s Day thing but more so an Irish thing. And by the way the movies the Leprechaun 1,2,3 and Leprechaun in the Hood are not only hilarious but also shows a lot of the Leprechaun folklore. In Irish mythology the Leprechaun is a type of male faerie said to inhabit the island of Ireland. They are said to be rich with crocks of gold buried in different places. According to legend if you keep a fixed gaze upon one they cannot escape but the moment you look away they will be gone. Legend also says that you can only get the Leprechaun’s gold if you can catch and interrogate the Leprechaun.
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You must be wondering what an alpha female is I mean we hear the term all the time and the image that comes to mind is some manly ball busting woman who loathes men, or in the other extreme a beautiful woman who eats men for breakfast while sipping on a mug of “man tears” in her favorite coffee mug. I consider myself an Alpha female but I definitely don’t identify with either one of these extreme examples.
In my opinion an Alpha female is a very strong-willed woman. She is not your damsel in distress, she is not a subservient woman who looks to her man to speak or express an opinion. She has a mind and she definitely uses it. She is a leader and often the strong one in a group of women, and she can also be found with a group of men because she can also hold her own in that group also.
The downside to being an Alpha Female however is that she often has a hard time sustaining a relationship because of the exact qualities that make her a great leader. Men tend to find this kind of woman intimidating because most Alpha Females have to work hard to not lose their feminine side. They are strong; being soft and girly is often a huge task. There are certain things that Alpha Females need in a relationship and below we are going to discuss them.
We definitely need someone that can go toe to toe with us, and NO I don’t mean physically fighting but I do mean in life. We need someone who can engage in friendly competition with us and won’t go all “cry baby” if they lose, and also someone who can be a humble winner. Basically we need someone that is secure with themselves, and won’t get their feelings hurt because we are excelling.
And this one is a HUGE one for me. There is nothing worse than a gossiping man who can’t keep a secret. Most Alpha Females view their relationships like being with their best friend so they tell their partner top secret information that would often be reserved for girlfriends, and they also have a hard time letting their guards down and being vulnerable, we need to know that if we tell you something personal that you will not “spill the beans” if you get mad or we go our separate ways.
This is a huge one for me and for most Alpha females. We pride ourselves on being smart and having value to give. We won’t do well in relationships with someone who doesn’t respect our minds or do not feel the need to consult us about big decisions. We are smart and want our brains to be utilized.
Read my lips “WE CANNOT BE SMOTHERED” nothing will send us on our way faster than someone who does not have anything going on. We need someone who has their own life and their own ambitions because we will not be available 24/7, we need a happy middle ground with someone.
We love to laugh because a lot of the time we live a very stressful life chasing our dreams. We need someone that can help us decompress, and we also need someone to banter playfully who can take it without getting all upset.
Some say we need an equal partner but I beg to differ on this one. In my experience an equal partner isn’t strong enough. We need a true alpha male because we need to be reined in at times. We also need to feel like we would be losing something of value if we don’t get our act together. We need a partner that even WE look up to, or it won’t work. We will only let someone lead us who we feel are more competent.
And that is why I feel only an alpha male will do for this kind of gal. Because we are so strong and smart we will run a weaker man over in a heartbeat and we won’t care because he is leaving. But with an Alpha Male it will be different because we value them and they are probably the only ones that can really put us in our place.
I don't think there is anything worse than having a partner that doesn’t have much to talk about, we definitely need a partner who can hold a decent conversation. Tell us about the books you are reading, what’s your opinions about world events? We need the mental stimulation
An Alpha female has a lot going on and no one else can get things done the way she needs then done or so she thinks so her partner has to be able to keep up with her, she doesn’t have time to drag someone else along. Self motivation is a must.
Alpha females have BIG egos and a lot of pride, we definitely need to be put in our place at times but we need someone who knows how to speak to us. Someone who comes off as arrogant or cocky will not be received well by us.
]]>I have such a soft spot for women I more than anything want for any woman I come in contact with whether it be through social media or personally to be as successful as they want to be. I realize everyone has a different definition of success so whatever you deem as successful I want that for you.
I remember when I was 20 with a newborn in my arms at Tampa General Hospital and I remember PROMISING him that no matter what I would look out for him and make sure he had the best. I also told him that he was going to be someone special in this world. At that time I had no idea how I would make that happen or how I would show him how to make that happen.
When I graduated high school I went directly into the Air Force and not by choice. I was a wild child and an even wilder teenager and I think my parents were just exhausted with the whole ordeal of parenting me and wanted it to be DONE. One thing about me though is I am not someone who can be forced into anything that I don't want to do, and so even though I went into the military I didn't even make it through bootcamp because I knew that wasn't where I was supposed to be.
Fast forward two years I had this little boy whom I loved dearly but was living in low income housing and on welfare for the first 4 years of his life, but I had big dreams for me and for him. I knew that the place that we were at was not the place we would be forever.
I later went on to get an AA degree, a BS degree, and in the summer of this year I will have a Master's, and my son has been offered his 15th division 1 full football scholarship. I know you must be thinking HOW?
There is not a doubt in my mind that a large part has to with what I was saying over our situation. Even though my circumstances looked one way I was constantly speaking about the kinds of situations I wanted to see. I also taught my son to speak about the things he wanted and not about what he was currently lacking.
Lastly, I taught him how to dream. A lot of parents stomp the dreams right out of their children and wonder why they end up the way they do. I never talked negatively about what his dreams were and I did not allow anyone to discourage him. The one thing I drilled in his head was that other people had what he wanted, so why couldn't it be him also. I think just that statement alone put things in perspective for him. Yes there are some people born in a better situation but as long as there is one person who was born in a WORSE situation and still has the things you want then that tells you that you also can have those things.
I encourage you to dream BIGGER, I encourage you to write a list of desires and read them often, and I encourage you to speak about what you want to see and not what you currently see!
With Love,
The Glam Cafe'
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This coffee mug is a definite hit!
I have had so many people ask me about this mug and why would I make something with the word "Bitch" on it. Isn't that glorifying bad behavior they would ask?
And my answer to that is absolutely NOT. To me it depends on what you take that word to mean...
I view this word as a sign of courage and strength and the amount of courage and strength that we as women have to possess in order to make it in this world.
Many of us have been hurt beyond anybody's wildest imaginations and yet you are expected to function normally.
Others of us are so passive that we let people walk all over us and we NEED to garner some of that strength and courage that a bitch embodies.
We are moms, spouses, employees, employers, students and so many other things to other people.
And in order to stay sane we have to really call upon that COURAGE and STRENGTH I was talking about earlier which is why I say being a Bitch is a lifestyle and not just a mood..
With Love,
So I was sitting here drinking my after dinner coffee, thinking about what I have to do for tomorrow and I started thinking about the FB live I did yesterday. If you missed it you can find it here:
When you get a chance go and check it out. Anyways I flashed back to that video and how upset I was yesterday and it got me to thinking. After much thought I decided that I was kinda dumb for even getting mad because I already knew that this person was capable of this kind of behavior. I just overlooked a lot of things because I had known him all my life, and also if I am being completely honest I just didn't want to face the fact that he could really be this selfish of a person.
Thinking back to the last 6 years it really should not have been a shock that he did this, this is the same person who led me to believe we would be a family we built a home, co-parented our children, had businesses together and so much more and he thought it would be OK to start seeing another woman behind my back. This is the same person who when we were dating exhibited all kinds of selfish behavior and what it comes down to is really "it's my fault". Not in the way that you are thinking. It is not my fault that he acted and still continues to act like an asshole but it is my fault that I have allowed him to stay in my life (even as a friend), and deal with this kind of treatment.
It's almost laughable to me now. A friend? He has no idea how to be a friend or even what the word means. In actuality I needed yesterday to happen so that it could slap some sense into me ''wake up girl and pay attention" to what is really going on.
Just last week he was telling me about how he cared about me and blah, blah, blah, and this is where the importance of watching his actions come into play. His actions from yesterday directly contradict what he said to me last week. My grandmother used to always tell me that a person may not always tell you how they feel about you but they will definitely show you, and this is absolutely true. His mouth was saying one thing and his actions definitely said something else. I urge you to always pay more attention to the actions of the people in your life and less attention on their words. Just doing this will save you a ton of heartache.
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If I tell you nothing else I will tell you to protect yourself from people. We all like to believe that people are inherently good, I mean it is hard to believe that people could be mean and evil because we know how good we are, how giving we are, how loving we are, but the sad truth is that there are some people who are not very pleasant, for a variety of reasons. There are some who are so miserable with their lives that they are not satisfied until everyone around them are unhappy they don’t know how to change their lives and so they project all that stuff onto other people. Then there are those who are just trouble starters and they get pleasure out of making others upset and causing trouble amongst people, these people also have some internal things going on with them. Things that they may not be aware of or they may be aware but do not know how to go about changing themselves.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR SPIRIT
In order to live a life of peace you have to be very protective of your spirit. You cannot and should not feel guilty for eliminating people and places from your life that are not in alignment with what you want to achieve. One thing that very successful people understand is that you have to surround yourself with people who either have what you want already or that are on the same path you are on. There really isn't anyway to maintain a positive mindset while spending a lot of time around people who are not very positive. I know we want to believe that we can just close ourselves off from people and still perform or that we can achieve success and breakthrough without having to change anything about our lives and it just ins’t true. I heard someone on social media say it best, she stated “you have to break away from some situations and people to achieve breakthrough”. We are looking for breakthrough not realizing that some of the relationships that we have and some of the situations we are in are hindering us from having a breakthrough, and sadly you won’t see the breakthrough if don't part with some of these situations, habits, and people.
How do you know if you need to part with some things?
These are just a few of the things I can think of that would indicate that you would really need to make some real changes in your life in terms of the kind of people or situations you are surrounding yourself with in order for things to start moving in a positive direction your life. In this new year I hope you take heed to what is being said here because this information could be the difference in you reaching your goals or being in the same position this year as you were last year.
There is something that is weird about me. I am not the most sociable person, it takes me a while to warm up to people but once I do I am normally around them until something happens to change that. I am not what you call a social butterfly by any means. I have an appearance of an extrovert but I very much enjoy my time alone. I am kind of awkward in social situations which is funny because if you looked at me you would think I was totally comfortable. Now to what's weird about me. People tend to confide in me. Don't ask me why but they tell me there deepest darkest secrets, things they would not want anybody to know, and for them they should know I will die with whatever they told me. But just knowing this got me to thinking. |
I mean really in a world where there is so much going on that is wrong. Who wouldn't be grateful for coffee beans and and the best make up brushes? What better way to pretty up an otherwise ugly world?
While that's a nice thought let's really get into the subject of gratitude and how having some can make things extremely better this time of year.
While for some this is an awesome time of year and they can’t wait to start all the cooking, shopping, and getting ready for family to arrive they live for this time of year, while for others it is not all that festive.
For some this is a time of grief. Maybe they have no family or anyone to spend the holidays with. There may not be enough money to buy everything that would make the family happy or worse you know you are going into debt this time of year. For others maybe they have lost a loved one around this time of year and this is a painful reminder for them that they will never have another Thanksgiving or Christmas together. I know for me personally I lost a co-worker the day after Thanksgiving and my Grandmother the week before Christmas so this time of year is not as happy as years past. Or maybe you don’t have a significant other to spend the holidays with, no one to buy you gifts or make you feel special and your family keeps questioning why you haven’t gotten married yet. Others may want children to spend the holidays with and no matter how hard they try they can't seem to conceive and the holidays are a painful reminder.
There are so many reasons why one could not be in the holiday spirit. I know for many years I always focused on all the things that had gone wrong. My relationships, my finances, my career it always seemed that something was not in the place that I needed it to be in order to be feel happy.
Expressing Gratitude. I read a book a couple of years ago called "The Magic" by Rhonda and in this book you practice gratitude over the course of 30 days. You have a morning routine and a night routine and each day you add in a daily exercise. Let's just say this book changed my life in so many different ways. It really helped me to realize that there is so much to be grateful for that we overlook. We get so bogged down in what is wrong and what we don't have enough of, that we give very little thought and how really when you think about it there is someone who would die to be in your shoes.
I would suggest going through that book, but for those who can't the next best thing would be to keep a gratitude journal.
What is a gratitude journal you may ask? It is a place where you give thanks for everything that you have and even for things that you want to bring into your life. I normally write down three things that I am grateful for in the mornings and why I am grateful for them. At night I think back over the day and write down things that I am grateful for that happened during the day. This process takes my mind off of the negative that is going on in my life and really shines a spotlight on the positive and God knows we can all use a spotlight on the positive. I hope you take advantage of this and if you do don't forget to comment below on how this has helped you.
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