Coffee| And the Needs of the AlphaFemale

Posted by TESRA HOUSE on


You must be wondering what an alpha female is I mean we hear the term all the time and the image that comes to mind is some manly ball busting woman who loathes men, or in the other extreme a beautiful woman who eats men for breakfast while sipping on a mug of “man tears” in her favorite coffee mug.  I consider myself an Alpha female but I definitely don’t identify with either one of these extreme examples.

So what is an Alpha Female?

In my opinion an Alpha female is a very strong-willed woman.  She is not your damsel in distress, she is not a subservient woman who looks to her man to speak or express an opinion.  She has a mind and she definitely uses it.  She is a leader and often the strong one in a group of women, and she can also be found with a group of men because she can also hold her own in that group also. 

The downside to being an Alpha Female however is that she often has a hard time sustaining a relationship because of the exact qualities that make her a great leader.  Men tend to find this kind of woman intimidating because most Alpha Females have to work hard to not lose their feminine side.  They are strong; being soft and girly is often a huge task.  There are certain things that Alpha Females need in a relationship and below we are going to discuss them.

  • We Need A Challenge

We definitely need someone that can go toe to toe with us, and NO I don’t mean physically fighting but I do mean in life.  We need someone who can engage in friendly competition with us and won’t go all “cry baby” if they lose, and also someone who can be a humble winner.  Basically we need someone that is secure with themselves, and won’t get their feelings hurt because we are excelling.

  • We Need Trust

And this one is a HUGE one for me.  There is nothing worse than a gossiping man who can’t keep a secret.  Most Alpha Females view their relationships like being with their best friend so they tell their partner top secret information that would often be reserved for girlfriends, and they also have a hard time letting their guards down and being vulnerable, we need to know that if we tell you something personal that you will not “spill the beans” if you get mad or we go our separate ways.

  • We Need Respect

This is a huge one for me and for most Alpha females.  We pride ourselves on being smart and having value to give.  We won’t do well in relationships with someone who doesn’t respect our minds or do not feel the need to consult us about big decisions.  We are smart and want our brains to be utilized.

  • We Need Independence

Read my lips “WE CANNOT BE SMOTHERED” nothing will send us on our way faster than someone who does not have anything going on.  We need someone who has their own life and their own ambitions because we will not be available 24/7, we need a happy middle ground with someone.

  • We Need to Laugh

We love to laugh because a lot of the time we live a very stressful life chasing our dreams.  We need someone that can help us decompress, and we also need someone to banter playfully who can take it without getting all upset.

  • We Need A Strong Partner

Some say we need an equal partner but I beg to differ on this one.  In my experience an equal partner isn’t strong enough.  We need a true alpha male because we need to be reined in at times.  We also need to feel like we would be losing something of value if we don’t get our act together.  We need a partner that even WE look up to, or it won’t work.  We will only let someone lead us who we feel are more competent.

  • We Need to be put in our place

And that is why I feel only an alpha male will do for this kind of gal.  Because we are so strong and smart we will run a weaker man over in a heartbeat and we won’t care because he is leaving.  But with an Alpha Male it will be different because we value them and they are probably the only ones that can really put us in our place.

  • We Need An Informed Partner

I don't think there is anything worse than having a partner that doesn’t have much to talk about, we definitely need a partner who can hold a decent conversation.  Tell us about the books you are reading, what’s your opinions about world events? We need the mental stimulation

  • We Need a Partner with Energy

  An Alpha female has a lot going on and no one else can get things done the way she needs then done or so she thinks so her partner has to be able to keep up with her, she doesn’t have time to drag someone else along.  Self motivation is a must.

  •  We need a partner with tact

 Alpha females have BIG egos and a lot of pride, we definitely need to be put in our place at times but we need someone who knows how to speak to us. Someone who comes off as arrogant or cocky will not be received well by us.



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